While in hospital there were two tools that I kept close to me at all times. My little pocket notebook and pen and also my dictaphone. This meant that whenever I had an observation or thought it could be recorded. And if I wasn't up to writing anything down, as soon as the nurses or other staff were out of earshot, I could say it into my dictaphone. As a result, I gathered quite a few patient observations while in hospital and I'd like to share a few of these with you.

On day four or five the various tubes stuck into the front and back of me were removed. It was great to have the opportunity to be up and about with my tubes out and fascinating to see what went on outside my room. All the sounds that I'd been hearing now had more meaning.

Walking round the two corridors in my ward and the ward next to mine, I noticed something happening (or failing to happen) on both the morning and the afternoon shift. At reception and in the corridor as I shuffled along, I would be met with eye contact and a smile by any member of staff who previously had been in contact with me. If they didn't know me...blank.

Actually, looking back, that's true of the nursing staff and doctors but not of the support staff. On every occasion I was met with eye contact and a smile by support staff as they went about their work.

Doing the rounds ever so slowly in a true softshoe shuffle on my first walk by myself, I had three different nursing staff blank me out. One actually had to swerve to avoid me as she rushed round a corner, yet there was still no acknowledgement.

Then in the lounge waiting area situated outside the lifts I noticed there were some plaques up on the wall; the sort that organisations put their mission statement and other grand corporate statements on. One of them had wonderful words. Here's what it said:

Every encounter is an opportunity

Every interaction with patients at any stage in their journey provides

us with an opportunity to exceed their expectations.

· Every encounter.

· Every moment.

· Every person.

· Every day.

Now, I don't know if this was one of those typical things that senior management put together at one of their corporate love-ins or whether or not the staff were actively involved in coming up with these wonderful words. Either way, quite a number of people weren't living them on a daily basis - which is sad not just for their customers, the patients, but also for themselves. Sad because living these words would help them to feel better about themselves and certainly help their patients and colleagues feel better about themselves too.

Words are just words until we choose to live them.

It's now over a week since I had my catheter taken out. I had imagined that after a day or so I'd be taking longer walks and having Gwen take me out to coffee shops by the river and by the ocean, both of which are close to our home in Perth.

The reality is considerably different.

My specialist had given me exercises to do to help with bladder control. He said that some people show a marked improvement within seven to ten days. But for others it can take four to six weeks or longer to get a reasonable degree of control.

Now, women tend to be more used to facing up to these challenges than men. As a result of operations relating to childbirth, prolapse, hysterectomy and the like they often have problems with their waterworks. At the health club I frequent, it's not unusual to see ladies suddenly dash out of their aerobics or pump class. I presume to make an emergency trip to the loo.

This means that they talk to one another about this stuff. Blokes don't, which means that I don't have anyone to compare war stories with....which means that I feel a bit anxious, inadequate and irritable.

It's been eight days now, and I still have virtually no control. Most of the time when I stand up and walk around it leads to a virtual waterfall! Of course, I'm wearing the equivalent of adult nappies, but it's still extremely offputting.

As a result, I do a minimal amount of walking, and today will only be my second outing to a coffee shop close by. Meanwhile, I keep practising my exercises. Hold one, two, three. Hold one, two, three!

# posted by Jurek Leon @ 4:59 pm 0 comments

Listening skills are vital in any customer service role. And that's certainly the case for the medical profession. While I was in hospital, I had a classic example of a senior nurse actively listening and yet doing it in an unpleasant way.

It's a mistake that experienced service providers often make. Before sharing with you what happened to me with the senior nurse, let me first explain what I mean by active listening.

We live in a busy world these days, and as a result, many people aren't particularly good at listening. They hear what the other person has to say, let them know that they've heard with comments like 'Uhu', 'I see' and the like, but they often don't confirm understanding.

Is what we think they've said, what the other person thinks they've told us?

There are two key steps to active listening -

1. Attend to what the other person is saying. In other words, pay attention.
2. Confirm understanding. In other words, paraphrase what the other person has said and feed this back to them in the form of a closed question. That way we can check whether or not what they think they've told us is what we think we've heard.

For example, " So, you're fine when you're on your back, but as soon as you lie on your side you feel the pain. Is that right?"

Where some experienced service providers get it wrong is that they correct rather than confirm understanding. Here's what happened to me in hospital on the Wednesday after my operation:

Nurse: " Is this Day Two for you?"

Patient: "Well, I had my operation on Monday, so it's my third day."

Nurse: "Yes, it's Day Two."

I stand corrected!

It's not a very nice feeling being corrected, especially when you're feeling a bit fragile. So, how could she have handled this more diplomatically? How about something like this?

Nurse: "Your third day? Good. Just in case anyone else asked you, we start counting from the day after your operation, so in hospital terms, this is Day Two."

Confirming understanding is a wonderful speech habit to have. The English language is just made for misunderstandings, so it really does pay to check. And most of the time, active listening demonstrates to people that you are listening and that they are important. You are taking the time to really listen to them. Where this falls down, is when officious people like the nurse in my example correct rather than confirm understanding.

First Impressions

Interestingly, my first impressions with this nurse hadn't been that great. When she first came into my room at the beginning of her shift, she was chewing. That seemed to me to be rather unprofessional.

I had this nurse on a couple of occasions. Technically, she seemed to be most competent. But I didn't take to her nearly as much as many of the other nurses. First impressions tell us a lot.